Calling all husbands: mikveh night is not only your wife’s “thing”. Remember the children’s story “The Little Red Hen”? If you aren’t going to help with the preparations you don’t get the goodies at the end. Make it a point to come home early and take over the supper-bath-bedtime routine. (Yes, I know lots of men do this all the time. Others don’t.) Help with the math homework and do the dishes. Buy or prepare something yummy for your wife to eat when she gets home, because by the time she’s done at the mikveh she is starving. A bouquet of flowers can’t hurt either. If you’re on a budget a “husband coupon” for a foot massage can go a long way and may ease your transition.
And, wives, men enjoy a flirty text or two and a mikveh day treat. Everyone wants to feel thought about and desired. Write up some coupons of your own.
What is more important than all these suggestions? Take some time to think about what you need and want and translate ideas and feelings into concrete suggestions. Then talk about it with your spouse. Not on mikveh day when sexual, and, maybe, other tensions are running high. Choose a time when you are both receptive and able to work out a mutually agreed upon plan.
Discuss what each of you needs and wants in order to make mikveh day and night a satisfying and anticipated experience. Mikveh day sets the stage for mikveh night. Foreplay takes on a whole new meaning.
Ellen Segal, “Mikveh Night Begins in the Morning”, The Times of Israel (23 November 2014) [http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/mikve-night-starts-in-the-morning/]