Young Orthodox men and women today come into marriage confused. Sexual images pervade their magazines, billboards, and phones informing them of things we never imagined and elevating their curiosity. They are taught to avoid sexual peering, discussion and exploration. They are taught over and over about being shomrei negiah (not touching non-family members of the opposite sex) and avoiding “sinful acts” but they rarely hear about the healthy and pleasurable aspects of their bodies and sexuality. They know they are supposed to be “tzanua” (modest) — whatever that means — yet also be confident, outspoken and proud to succeed professionally. They are often pressured or tempted as teens to be sexual, but are not prepared for what that might entail once it happens. The complexity of living a life of Torah in the modern world is starkly obvious to newlyweds, but where are we when it comes to providing them with real guidance?
Judith Fogel, “Let’s talk about premarital education and do it differently”, The Times of Israel (8 June 2017) [http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/lets-talk-about-premarital-education-and-do-it-differently/]